I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
Benny Hill
I don't covet images or belongings. My television set and video are rented, any paintings aren't worth a fortune, and money is of little interest.
Benny Hill
I sometimes use a girl singer the way Henny Youngman uses his violin - as a bridge between one laugh and the next.
Benny Hill
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
Benny Hill
I don't do something I won't enjoy just for the money. I do it for the fun, for the joy of working.
Benny Hill
I used to watch all these great fat women in the audience laughing at the comic, and I would think how wonderful it would be to be that man. He was surrounded by pretty girls, he obviously got more money than anyone else, and everyone loved him.
Benny Hill
The mistake British comedians often make is trying to beat the Americans at their own game - getting visiting American singers on their shows, talking about 'sidewalk' instead of 'pavement,' sitting on high stools in a white dinner jacket doing ballads. That way, you simply end up with a mid-Atlantic mishmash.
Benny Hill